Online Dating Message of the Day: #3, 4, 5, and 6.

Today, I have not a two-pack, or even a three-pack, but a quad-pack!

These are so short and to the point I decided to group them together. It's not a coincidence that these don't contain a capital letter. I'm going to see how long I can post without one!

I REALLY wish I could post pictures for this one.

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#3:
Age: 20
Race: White
Size: Thin
Children: 2
Have a car: No
Three of her hobbies/interests: NASCAR, Weed, and Fishing.

"hey boy! hit me back."

My Opinion:
No. When you watch NASCAR, is it like window shopping? At the very least I hope you have a bike to haul your children in.

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#4:
Age: 29
Race: White
Size: Large
Children: 1
Have a car: Yes
Three of her hobbies/interests: driving

"do drugs?"

My Opinion:
What's funny about the site that this is from, you don't know which answer they're looking. It could go either way.

Also, that's not a typo. Her only interest she listed was "driving." Lets do drugs and drive, baby!!!

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#5:
Age: 29
Race: White
Size: BBW
Children: Doesn't Want Children
Have a car: Yes
Three of her hobbies/interests: money, my 89 mustang, and writing.

"if u cum this way [Redford] msg me"

My opinion:
What 29 year old spells come as "cum?" I mean, it was really funny when I was 13. I guess in Redford that's how they roll.

I also think its' becoming a trend that the women who online date love (correction, "luv") money. Although, I'm tempted with this one...she has an 89 MUSTANG!?!?! HOT! At least she's a writer...?

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#6:
Age: 22
Race: Black
Size: Average
Children: Wants Children
Have a car: Yes
Three of her hobbies/interests: guyz, carz, and ca$h. (listed in that order)

"u hung?"

My Opinion:
Of course the black chick asks this. And the answer is, incredibly.

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Online Dating Message of the Day: #2

Today brings on a new quote and adventurous female. Well, adventurous might be an overstatement, but none-the less, here's today's Online Dating Message of the Day:

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#2:
Age: 39
Race: Black
Size: BBW
Children: Undecided/Open
Have a car: Yes
Three of her hobbies/interests: dubs, money, and fine dine.

"hi hotie! i think u shood get back at me. cuz we shake it. reelz job n reeelz good cookin?! ~~~ "

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My Opinion:
I'm fairly certain this message was text messaged in. I'm not sure, but judging by the shorthand, that's my guess. The truth is though, this most likely wasn't sent from a phone.

I also have to ask myself if she's asking if I have a reelz job and can cook, or if she has a reelz job and can cook. If she made that more clear, I might consider writing back. Shit, I don't care what she looks like. If she wants to come over and cook, I'll just pay her to do that. But then again, she may already have a reelz job, so she could take offense. I've eaten some damn-good meals out, and I doubt they were often cooked by beautiful people. Besides, I love me some soul food!

Ironically though, I too am very into money and fine dine[ing]. So, maybe there's potential.

Another thing worth noting is that I just wrote this and realized something. I'm on day #2 of these messages and so far, zero capital letters. I'm seeing a trend...

Online Dating Message of the Day: #1

I made a post earlier today containing a video of a potential online dater with a case of the "twitches." After posting that I realized that I had an online dating profile that I setup almost a year ago that I gave up on (and it won't take long for you to see why I decided online dating wasn't for me). After several attempts to remember my password, I unlocked the gates to glory!

I had a total of 57 new messages. Yes, that's correct, 57. So, I began scrolling through them and realized that this was comedy gold! Don't get me wrong, there were a few that had a little bit of content, but it appears that most of the people those messages were from are no longer members on the site.

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to begin posting one of these a day. Most of the messages are only a few words long, but despite that, it's amazing how much humor can be pulled from them.

These are completely unedited. I will not alter these in anyway. What you see is exactly what I received. I can't post pictures, but I will post some of the information I know about them.

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#1:
Age: 34
Race: Very White
Size: XS
Children: Does not want Children
Have a car: Yes
Three of her hobbies/interests: bb, monster truck shows, and 420.

"hey there what you go going on today? me just chillin here at the crib doing laundry , yea i agee this sight should be called plenty of weirdos , u have a nice day. smoke erb?"

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My opinion:

Where the hell do I begin? A) It's super hot that she's doing laundry. B) What's more amazing is that she spelled "laundry" correctly, but missed the 'r' in "agree." I mean, that defies all logic. I don't want to insult her intelligence, but how do you phonetically fuck that one up?

What is a "bb" that's listed in her interests? Either I'm not up on my acronyms, or she misspelled 'bib'.

Lastly, do I smoke erb? "Erb?" Again, she spelled "laundry" correctly. Maybe she thought there were gay implications if she asked me if I 'smoked Herb.'