I made a post earlier today containing a video of a potential online dater with a case of the "twitches." After posting that I realized that I had an online dating profile that I setup almost a year ago that I gave up on (and it won't take long for you to see why I decided online dating wasn't for me). After several attempts to remember my password, I unlocked the gates to glory!
I had a total of 57 new messages. Yes, that's correct, 57. So, I began scrolling through them and realized that this was comedy gold! Don't get me wrong, there were a few that had a little bit of content, but it appears that most of the people those messages were from are no longer members on the site.
Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to begin posting one of these a day. Most of the messages are only a few words long, but despite that, it's amazing how much humor can be pulled from them.
These are completely unedited. I will not alter these in anyway. What you see is exactly what I received. I can't post pictures, but I will post some of the information I know about them.
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#1:
Age: 34
Race: Very White
Size: XS
Children: Does not want Children
Have a car: Yes
Three of her hobbies/interests: bb, monster truck shows, and 420.
"hey there what you go going on today? me just chillin here at the crib doing laundry , yea i agee this sight should be called plenty of weirdos , u have a nice day. smoke erb?"
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My opinion:
Where the hell do I begin? A) It's super hot that she's doing laundry. B) What's more amazing is that she spelled "laundry" correctly, but missed the 'r' in "agree." I mean, that defies all logic. I don't want to insult her intelligence, but how do you phonetically fuck that one up?
What is a "bb" that's listed in her interests? Either I'm not up on my acronyms, or she misspelled 'bib'.
Lastly, do I smoke erb? "Erb?" Again, she spelled "laundry" correctly. Maybe she thought there were gay implications if she asked me if I 'smoked Herb.'
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